Who ever said having a new born was hard, didn't have a toddler yet! How can there be so much sass in something so small? And let's make mine a red head š²
There was once a phrase that said, 'Beware of the terrible two's'. When you first become pregnant, obviously you are so excited about the new life you are creating, you wouldn't think ahead basically 3 years to when the sweet little nugget growing inside of you, is going to go full Damien from the Omen on you. It's not until they are out in the world, living blissfully their first year and half. Then their second birthday starts getting closer, those nerves of the 'Terrible Two's' start creeping into your thoughts and dreams! How do I prepare?
Well, Zoe's second birthday came and went without any major character changes for the worse. Quite the contrary. She was actually easier to manage than when she was a baby and didn't know what the hell I was talking about. Now, she could comprehend when I asked her to do something. Can I be that lucky that my child will skip over the terrible two's and just be amazing her whole life?! Amazing! We must be the luckiest people on the planet! I bet no one else's kid is as well behaved as our Zoe is! She, of course, had moments, but all normal issues, nothing to insinuate a 'Terrible Two' behavior. This was glorious, since I was pregnant with our second at the time. Her third birthday, was slowly creeping up, we were almost entirely home free from this potential nightmare! Omfg we did it!!! Somehow we parented Zoe through her second year of life, unscathed by the dreaded year of meltdowns and tantrums!
Everett was born when Zoe was two and half, so we weren't sure how she would handle it. She was an amazing big sister to Everett, which I was truly worried about, while pregnant. Not that she was going to turn evil on us, but regress somehow some way. The terrible two's would definitely rear its ugly head with a second baby, taking up all of mommy's attention. But again, she was exceeding expectations time and time again! This girl was an anomaly of epic proportions! AND THE PARENTING AWARD GOES TO!! Her third birthday came and that was it. Terrible two's were in the rear view mirror. She was well behaved all year. Starting to talk more and more clearly, so now it was super easy to communicate with her now that she could speak. Life was looking pretty perfect in our opinion.
We had both a boy and a girl. Our million dollar family. Our oldest wasn't regressing or acting out with the new baby around, like we had been warned could happen. We were living the dream. At Everett's six week appointment, the doctor asked how we were doing with the transition from one to two kids, and I, of course said it was so easy. The doctor, just ever so softly said, "for now." Immediately, my heart dropped. Had I been so naive, thinking it would be so easy. Almost like a switch had turned on, Zoe began acting out on random things. Nothing drastic, but noticeable to us, since she had been such a gem up to now. She began being hard to put to bed. Fighting us for hours, and screaming so loud, the whole cul de sac could hear. Then, she wouldn't listen when you asked her to do something, or throw some serious sass in response to any request we had for her. We wondered if this was a slight regression due to the birth of Everett, or if it was, dare I say, a late episode of the Terrible Two's!!!
Julian and I would sit and discuss potential reasons why she could be acting out. I suggested it was possibly normal age behaviour, we were just suffering more because she had been such an angel until now! Perhaps had she been a difficult baby, her sudden attitude shift would have been just another day in the life. Where did we go wrong? Where did our sweet, little girl go? In my time, I have seen some kids be brutal their whole life, so when they're terrible two's hit, the parents were prepared with their arsenal of parenting a tougher child skills. We weren't prepared. This was new territory for us. How come Zoe wasn't just a well rounded human being who needed absolutely no parenting whatsoever. Obviously, we didn't think that we were going to be so fortunate that we wouldn't have to put in the hard work, but, that is exactly what we thought! Now what?
Of course, we had to guide her through some social occasions for the first 2 years. Going out she couldn't act like an escaped monkey from the zoo, but she had been such a great listener that it was a non issue. Now after her 3rd birthday, she had become a THREENAGER, a full blown teenager attitude in a three year old body. She thought she was king shit and didn't have to answer to anybody! Full of piss and vinegar, one might say. One minute she would be your best friend, the next minute she's giving you such hell, you sit back wondering what the hell just happened. She can go from 0 to 100 in 60 seconds or less. There was no telling what could set her off either. Just hope and pray that you don't say the wrong thing and set off the Zoe volcano that could flatten and incinerate entire towns! The fiery red temper could burn you if you got too close. And once she blew, there is not containing the fire. Just got to let her burn herself out.
We learned pretty early on, there was no fighting the wild fire that burned deep within. We found it easier to wait for her to calm herself down before engaging in a constructive conversation. If you attempted to teach her during her passionate outburst, it was essentially pouring gasoline on a barbecue. She is not tricked by someone trying to divert her attention either. This also fuels her hate fire. Waiting until she is done is how we have survived this long. Some may say, letting her be a human blow torch is wrong, but I believe letting her find her own peace, instead of being told to calm down, may be a better technique. But I have said it before, and I will say again and again. My way of parenting isn't necessarily the right way for everyone. This is what works for Zoe, it may not work for Everett. Time will tell...
I hear the Fantastic Fours are well....fantastic!! š¤š
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